


F****n’ Androids

by Howdafloof



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, M/M, Relatively tame smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-08 00:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howdafloof/pseuds/Howdafloof
Summary: Captain Allen goes to Connor for some help with a rather strange problem.Gavin’s prevarication land him in a situation he never wants to repeat.Both parties end up sad by the end of it.Warning: light smut.





	F****n’ Androids

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is me trying out a bit of funny smut with some angst-I’ve tried to be as non descriptive with the smut as possible to keep it for more general audiences, however if someone believes the rating does need to go up I will not hesitate to do so.
> 
> WARNING: This does tackle a small bit on Male Infertility, not really a main plot point just an excuse to tie things together.  
> Again if you feel I haven’t handled the situation well enough, send me a message and we can hash something out.
> 
> I quite like Captain Allen, he’s sort of Dad material, so i decided to try and make him one.  
> Except he’s not-le gasp!
> 
> If there are any improvements you think i need to make, don’t hesitate to let me know.

Richard Allen was a man who moved with purpose. He knew what he wanted and each stride was calculated to bring him to his goal. As such it was a little weird seeing the usually confident man loitering nervously in the Bullpen, steps unsure and uneasy to say the least.

It was Hank who noticed him first, the lieutenant raised a polite hand to him and the Captain gave a stiff wave back, eyes focused on the desk facing the lieutenants. 

Or the Android in it to be more specific. Before Hank could move to alert Connor, the Android was already spinning around in his chair, somehow knowing he had a visitor as the Captain took hesitant steps towards him.

“Captain, what can I do for you today?” Connor asked, hands resting on his thighs and Head held high.

The Captain nodded respectfully at Hank before gesturing to Connor. “Connor, would it be alright if we had a conversation in a more ‘private’ part of the building?” Richard asked quietly, leaning down to further ensure no one else heard the request.

Glancing around the Android nodded immediately “Of course Captain...”

 

Gavin Reed worked hard, he was ambitious and his work ethic showed that 90% of the time. However even the great and mighty have days when they simply feel like doing fuck all. Especially if it included paperwork, which Gavin’s current work list did. Still, most would be surprised to see the king of all assholes sitting with his knees pulled up on a toilet seat. The stall door was locked, however the doors all swung shut anyway and the engaged signs were work down from years of use. The main rule had boiled down to ’if you saw feet, someone was using the stall, other wise just barge on in.’

A situation Gavin was hoping to avoid as he sifted through the internet on his phone, continuing to prevaricate childishly. Hank got most of his reports done by Conner, all the plastic fucker had to do with make intimate contact with the screen and it would do anything the android wanted. HE had to actually WORK to make an impression, later shifts are early mornings just to get ahead.

Gavin snorted-Fuckin’ Androids.

The mens room door opening quickly had him nearly dropping his phone in shock and he went rigid as 2 pairs of feet clattered over the tile floor.

“You sure about this?” Captain Allen’s voice surprised the detective and he raised a brow at how nervous the usually stoic man sounded.

“Of course, I’ve got Hank guarding the door and no one else is here, if you can provide the substance quick enough I can complete my analysis within several seconds”

Connor?

‘The fuck is going on?’ Gavin thought, staring incredulously at the two pairs of feet now visible under the stall door.

“Still, i would feel easier if we used a stall to do this, just in case-god forbid Reed decides to start shit and march on in.”

What?

Gavin’s thought’s quickly turned from confusion into fear as the one of the two pairs tuned to face the stalls. The detective going rigid as Allen approached the doors before picking the one next to him. Internally the prevaricating male felt his stomach churn as dread turned into subdued relief.

He couldn’t leave now though-whatever was happening was so private no one else was allowed in. Even if he made a run for it, Connor would mostly like catch him somehow or he would crash into Hank. He would just have to wait out whatever the fuck was going on and pray he wasn’t found out.

He was both thankful and unthankful for the gap between the two stalls. For one thing he could see where their feet were. However it also meant he couldn’t put his own feet down now (not that he dared, one stray creak and Connor would be vaulting over the stall wall.

Silently inhaling, the detective begged his legs not to cramp and watched as both men entered the toilet cubicle.

The sound of the door locking was unnerving-what the hell where they doing-something to do with a substance-

Oh.

Gavin almost snorted.

So Anderson’s pet had finally loosened up enough to participate in some of the more ‘illicit’ activities that even the most well respected members at the DPD indulged in. He had no idea what they must have told hank but for whatever drug Connor was going to sample-this seemed a bit much. Gavin couldn’t help but smirk, did Anderson really think his plastic pet was going to remain innocent forever?

Said smirk dropped into a look of horror the next moment as Richard’s pants fell to the floor around his ankles.

Oh.

Oh no.

Gavin went impossibly more rigid as Connor knelt in front of the now pant-less man.

No no no-

It took every ounce of self preservation in the detectives system not to make a sound as a pair of boxer shorts dropped into the pants.

NO.

For the first time in a very long while-Gavin Reed felt utterly trapped in a situation he could not escape from. He didn’t even dare turn in case the shift of weight caused the plastic seat to creak.

“Well, everything looks to be in good condition, scans aren’t revealing any problems yet.” Connor spoke in his usual polite yet airily voice, as if were simply analysing another crime scene.

Gavin wished he WAS at a crime scene, he would take having to analyse a bloodied corpse over having to listen to what was coming next.

“O-ok um so i just have to get some on your tongue right? Like just a little bit?” Allen’s voice made the detective internally wince at how nervous the man sounded in this situation.

“Unfortunately detective ‘Precum’ as it is often referred to as-acts more as a lubricant to help with the main intercourse-I’m going to I need a full ejaculation to analyse your sperm levels—I understand if you would like to change your mind about this-“

Sperm levels?! Why the fuck couldn’t Allen just go to a fucking clinic-the man was married for fucks sake-surely this counted as cheating?!

“-Well I-“

Call it off! Call it off!

“No-even my wife suggested i go through with it if you could do it-she’s so worried-there’s practically nowhere in Detroit for this-and everyone that does it is bookedfor several weeks!” The captain dismissed Conner’s concerns with a voice renewed with confidence.

FUCK.  
Allen sighed. “I-I just need to know if it’s something to do with me...”

Gavin could almost feel Conner nodding in that overly polite way-you could threaten to kill a cat in front of him and he would just do that stupid polite nod and say-

“Very well-this will mean however you will need to stimulate yourself, unless of course you want me to-‘

Oh god no.

“Blow you-as it is referred to”

Gavin was wrong-whatever innocence there was in Connor had obviously been destroyed long ago. Innocent Androids did NOT offer to blow the leader of the SWAT team in the men’s bathroom. The fact that Allen’s wife was ok with this was confounding. No way-she was DEFINITELY getting some sort of kink fulfilled out of this.

Oh god what if Allen was secretly recording this!?

As Gavin’s already horrified mind added another layer of corruption-the captain responded.

“Well-I-I didn’t realise i would have to go the WHOLE way- I thought you would just lick the tip-“

BLEH.

“-And be done with it-but if i need to go the whole then well i may as well go the whole way with THAT to..”

WOW quality advice from the leader of the fuckin’ SWAT “If you need a sperm test from an android get a fuckin BJ while your at it”-god he should have known the old dick was an Android fucker!

Looking back down at the gap between the stalls, Gavin realised the placement of the two men caused them to leave shadows on the floor right by the gap. He could see Connors head nodding with that fuckin’ phrase on his lips-

“Very well then-I haven’t done this before so I apologise If I’m unable to satisfy you-“

NOT THE VIRGIN TALK!

“-It’s alright-I’ll...guide you” The Captain’s response finished in an almost playful manner and Gavin thought he might have to open up his legs and hurl into the toilet bowl he was perched on. There was no way to make that not sound like something a kiddy fiddler would say.

But despite his utter disgust at the situation, some cruel part of his mind had him watching the shadows, eyes widening as Connor lifted Allens flaccid penis , opened his mouth and-

Gavin looked away, mouth stretched in a way that would inspire thoughts of the artwork ‘the scream’

NOPE.  
NOPE  
NOPE  
NOPE 

A sudden moan had Gavin slamming his hands over his ears and screwing his eyes shut, regretting not bringing his fucking gun and just offing himself right here.

Allen falling against the thin stall wall with a loud bang caused the detective to jolt, nearly letting out a gasp. His phone, which had been clutched in his grasp, slipped and fell between his legs.

NO!

He swung forward and jabbed his hand straight down into the bowl, catching the phone just as it touched the water.

A sudden knocking on the main door made him freeze and he involuntarily blushed when Hanks voice filtered through.

“Um, you ok in there...you done with your ‘exam’ yet Connor? “ the older man asked awkwardly through the closed door, clearly uncomfortable having to guard what he thought was some sort of penis exam.

Uncomfortable? Hank Anderson did not know the fucking meaning of the word! He was in the fucking Bahamas compared to Gavin’s situation! Did he even know what was going on? The android was so good at lying to people. Talk about being a deviant...

“Nearly done Lieutenant-just trying a few more things-“ Gavin swore he could hear the visible smirk in the Androids words. Daring another glance at bottom of the stall, he realised he must have some sort of masochistic tendencies hidden in his asshole shaped heart. He found himself unable to stop staring at what was undoubtedly the silhouette of Richards Allen’s fully erect member with his essence leaking out the end.  
The tiniest ‘splat’ and a drop of liquid hitting the floor next to the Captains leg confirmed that Connors ‘sample’ was well on it’s way.

Managing to finally tear his eyes from the scene, He realised his legs were shaking, whether it was from keeping them propped up or from what he was seeing he wasn't sure.  
However his hands also shaking provided a bit of insight.

Wet sounds indicated Connor had resumed his ministrations and Gavin covered his ears once more.

Forget Connor’s innocence-this was proof of any mental stability Gavin had going straight down the drain. Well, not much left there anyway, ha-

“Ohhhhh-Conner!”

Haaahhhhh.....

How was he ever going to look the android in the eye again? He may as well request transfer to a different precinct and start over, maybe in some small far off town where everyone knew everyone. And what happens in bed stays between a man and a women

“Connor I’m-in-out!?” The Captain asked desperately in jagged breaths, ecstasy coating his words, legs shaking as the man prepared for the final act in Gavins purgatory.

“Get some in my mouth, but don’t be afraid to decorate the exterior a little-“ Connor’s reply made Gavin silently choke.

With those words 3 things happened.

 

-The Captain of the SWAT team, manly mc Manson-hard boiled gun totting Image of masculinity- let out a loud moan that Hank MUST have heard - and came.

-Gavin watched in mentally broken silence as the the silhouettes of jetting essence splashed over the silhouette of Conner’s face. He heard the noise as the viscous liquid made contact and watched as the rest dripped onto the floor, some coating the androids legs and Allen’s pants.

-With the Captain’s long undignified moan emanating all around, Gavin finally broke, opened his legs and quietly dry heaved into the toilet bowl.

 

For several seconds there was silence.

 

No one moved, Semen still dripping onto the floor from both men in the second stall.

 

Spit dribbled off Gavin’s face as he stared sickly into the dark toilet bowl, wondering if this was some sort of penance for his previous actions against the RK800.

 

There was the vibration of the toilet roll holder being moved and several seconds later Allen pulled his boxers and pants up while Connor stood, wiping himself down. The sound of Connor opening and closing his mouth sounding as if it were filled to the brim with something wet made Gavin clamp his mouth to prevent another dry heave. A second later the sound of the android spitting the contents of his mouth into the toilet bowl was heard, the amount sounding more like he had tipped an entire bucket of the liquid down it.

“Here let me-“ the Captain muttered in such a soft voice the detective barely heard it. The sound of tissue on skin revealed he was wiping the androids face. Surely the man would be awkward about what just happened?

Nope turns out he really was an android fucker.

“God that was AMAZING-you sure your not made for this kind of-“

“Zero” Connor cut him off suddenly. The captain stopped his administrations and stepped back.

“you..mean-”

“There’s nothing, no Sperm-your infertile” Connor finished and Gavin suddenly felt like he was going to be properly sick

“I...oh”

Despite just listening to the equivalent of hearing your parents go at it, guilt overcame Gavin. He knew the Captain and his wife had been trying for children, despite the man getting on in years. Despite his asshole attitude and general inconsiderate lifestyle, this was clearly a private conversation, a moment of weakness he was now intruding on.

“I’m so sorry captain”

Even with only shadows to determine what was going on, it was clear to see the captain’s slump in his posture. 

“We...thought she...they didn’t even bother checking me-I” Allen suddenly let out a choked sound. “They were certain-her eggs, they could repair-“

The thought of his worst case-ending with informing the parents about their deceased child, god he had gotten trashed that night. Their grief was an image that stuck with him through the years and the sound the Captain was making reminded him of the poor mother as she sobbed into her husbands arms. The aura of unbearable anguish consuming the pair.

Quickly, Connor grabbed another bit of loo role and cleaned any remaining evidence, Gavin stared at his legs silently at the sound of the evidence being flushed away.

He didn’t want to know why Hank hadn’t interrupted them again.

He just wanted to get out of here, disgust now burned down to a dead cold feeling in his chest.

Eventually the pair left, the Captain still slumped, softly muttering.

“What am I going to tell her, what am I going to do?” the once proud man continued to murmur, chances of giving life now NIL.

The door finally shut and Gavin was just left with his thoughts and the gentle hum of the fluorescent lighting. He had no idea how long it had taken for that entire performance to play out, but it had been too much he didn’t need to hear in too shorter time.

He was done for the day.

Ten minutes later he was standing in front of Fowler, from his bosses look, it was clear the man was surprised and maybe just the slightest bit worried about Gavin’s appearance.

Miserable, fed up, defeated.

Not a look he had worn in a very long time.

“Go home, get Tina to drive you” the order was given before the detective could even open his mouth.

And so, one quiet car ride later, detective Gavin Reed lay on his bed in his empty flat, staring at his white ceiling.

He didn’t know how many hours passed, but it was nearing total darkness by the time 2 words final slipped out his mouth.

“Fucking....Androids’”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
